Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Welcome to a new kind of tension

It was pointed out this evening that I haven't talked about life in the New Building. I reminisced about our Staff Revue last Christmas, which was opened with an adaptation of Green Day's finest moment, entitled 'Business Park Idiot'. It's been running through my head all week.

On the positive side: I can walk to work (40 mins) or get one bus rather than two (£1 each way rather than £2.30 each way). There's a big Tesco five minutes' walk away. The toilets don't smell. The carpets don't raise hairballs when you rub them with your toe. Coffee is cheaper. The phones tell you who is calling. There is air conditioning. It is open plan so I see all members of my team every day.

On the negative side: it is in a business park where everyone drives and they have economised on pavement by only putting it on one side of the road, which is borderline lethal. There is no Lebanese takeaway and no delicatessen (as my friend S put it 'goddamn it, there's no crayfish on this business park'). The toilet cubicles were designed without taking into account the need for sanitary bins, and are so narrow that you graze your left buttock on said bins every time you sit down. The main colour in our daily palette is grey. The cafe's menu is designed for (and by?) people who like pub food. We are not supposed to open the windows but it is freezing if you don't. It is open plan so I see all members of my team every day.

I leave it to you to 'do the math'.

joella

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