--Resistance--is--useless--

Having spent a while exploring other early morning options (Radio 5 was recommended by a couple of people, but I seem to have thrown away the AM aerial for the radio in my bedroom) I have returned to the Today Programme. I just can't seem to get out of bed without it.

But the alarmist way they report things sometimes still pisses me off . This morning I was getting out of the shower when I heard that "childless couples are to get free fertility treatment".

It all sounded a bit Handmaid's Tale. I half expected to find men in white coats downstairs reading to frogmarch me to the hospital to have my NHS baby implanted... which would be a bit like NHS glasses, ugly and only for the poor and/or desperately uncool. It would never cope in a world of DKNY and Diesel babies, being speed-walked around in their off-road three wheeler buggies, learning Spanish from the au pair and eating pureed rocket.

So, like the Israeli citizenship that was once foisted upon me, I think I shall have to opt out. Where do I sign?

joella