February existential blues

I've had a very sociable weekend. Had a fantastic dinner with friends on Friday night -- great food, lots of fun, but was feeling a bit manic after a shit week, and did cane the wine a bit, and then woke up feeling bleak on Saturday and I don't think a hangover was the only reason, as it hasn't really shifted, despite a meal out with The Band last night and friends for tea today.

Work *is* a bit shit at the moment, and it *is* February, the hardest of months (well, apart from August, I don't like August very much. Or November. But anyway.). So maybe that's all there is to it.

Or maybe I'm just having trouble after my hols, 're-entering' the real world, as someone put it. Maybe I want the real world to be different. Or maybe I want me to be different?

No, I'm ok with me, mostly. If I could be a morning person who loved to exercise, I would be happier, but on the whole I don't suffer from self loathing that often.

So it must be the world. Or living in this bit of it. Although it's better than most places.

Oh I don't bloody know. I just wish it would lift.

joella