Decaf soya cappuccino

My healthy bum regime currently precludes caffeine and dairy products, among other things. So on the whole I am avoiding coffee completely -- it's all too fiddly.

However, last night I was at the train station to meet my visiting Australian artist half-aunt, due in on the 18.18. Which, predictably enough for Virgin Trains, was running half an hour late. As it's a fifteen minute drive home, I decided to wait.

And I waited, and waited, and waited. After a while, the arrival time shifted ten minutes every ten minutes, so the train was always nearly here. I asked the information desk where it actually physically *was* about fifteen times, and each time they said which train, love? THE ONE I JUST ASKED ABOUT TEN MINUTES AGO WHICH IS NOW AN HOUR LATE AND HAS NO FIXED ARRIVAL TIME, I said. Oh, won't be long now, they said. It was like something out of a bad dream.

So I bought a magazine and decided I needed a coffee. I went to the coffee kiosk that all stations have but that nobody can ever remember the name of. I thought I'd just have a black decaf. But they did soya milk too. So I said 'decaf with soya milk please'. The barista reeled off a list of coffee styles, all of which are apparently possible with soya milk. Er, cappuccino, I said.

'Decaf soya cappuccino!' she shouted. 'You fucking what?' said the guy who had to actually make the thing.

When it came it tasted like fluffy eggboxes. Serves me right.

joella