Would the reverse be surprising?

Back in the mists of time I got a job as a reporter on a rather esoteric publication about the electronic information industry. I had to learn what that was (mostly telnet, private data networks and CD-ROM, from what I remember), but I also had to learn how to write.

At the time I was used to writing essays. Introduce the subject, look at both sides, come to a conclusion. On top of that, every sentence was a mile long, just to be sure every nuance was covered.

But Peter changed all that. He was a teacher turned journalist who set me writing things and then set about tearing them apart.

"A number of? A number of? What fucking number?" was one of his sayings, and one now I use myself at every opportunity. He also taught me that the first sentence is the most important, that the headline is even more important than that, and that many, if not most adjectives are pointless ("awardwinning", "leading" etc).

But my favourite Peterism was the one he used to tell if something is newsworthy, or indeed worth saying at all. You simply ask yourself: "Would the reverse be surprising?" If the answer is yes, then what you are reading is dross written by marketing people.

As an example, we recently did our first internet shop, and decided to use Sainsburys To You. The process was quite tedious but pretty well organised -- good interface, simple to use etc. So far so good.

But then the email arrived, which began: "You can sit back and relax while your order is carefully selected by our trained shoppers and delivered straight to your door."

Now ask yourself, would the reverse be surprising? "You can get stressed while a bunch of stuff is selected at random by idiots, thrown headlong into a box and dropped off at your house, or maybe someone else's, via Birmingham."

Who thinks this sort of stuff adds value to anything, that's what I want to know.

joella