Monday, May 15, 2006

Traffic calming brainwave

We were walking up the hill on our way back from a curry tonight (we were taking part in Celebrasian, er, celebrations) when yet another car burnt past us at a ridiculous speed.

If I were suicidal, I'd leap out in front of one of them. I would be dead, so mission accomplished, and they'd never speed again and serve them jolly well right.

But I'm not suicidal so that's not really a plan. As it is I sometimes make like I'm going to step out in front of them so they slam their brakes on, but that's not really a plan either if I think about it soberly.

But tonight we came up with a great idea. What we need is child-sized crash test dummies on sticks! Then you crouch in between two parked cars, and at the rubber-squealing approach of the next boy racer, you poke it out into the road.

Boy racer slows down to avoid child-sized crash test dummy, then drives off with poignant 'that could have been a real child' thoughts and never steams up (or down) hill again.

I think that's got mileage. Maybe I'll write to the council.



Blogger Phil said...

Yes or he (she is less likely, let's face it) could swerve and crash into the car you are hiding in front of. Your mission would be accomplished but your future ballet career curtailed. He may also decide to beat the crap out of you.

2:59 pm  
Blogger Jeremy Dennis said...

You can buy them (child shaped bollards, at any rate), or used to be able to. There was a fad for putting them up around schools for a while, but confused drivers would call the police or even stop to try and help the apparently abandoned children standing on a traffic island in the middle of the night. Traffic calming is faddy stuff. Those places are probabaly going for the minimal distraction look nowadays.

3:06 pm  

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