I don't have many clothes, and I have even fewer clothes that I actually like wearing. My 'core wardrobe', in fact, is a tiny collection of items from the last few Fat Face and Monsoon sales. If something's not there, it doesn't take me long to miss it.

And I haven't seen my orange top or my purple top for days. M, I said this morning, while burrowing through a pile of things I just couldn't bear to wear, do you have any of my clothes in your room?

Yes, he said. I am creating a new girlfriend, and I needed them for testing purposes.

I howled, and threw myself back under the duvet.

It's ok, he said, it's not going very well. I can't get the event handling mechanisms to work properly.

joella