Thursday, May 17, 2007

Dig your own hole

I think I got flirted with last night. I say 'think' because a) I'm not sure I recognise the signs anymore and b) if that *is* what he was doing he got it very, very wrong.

He arrived late at my friend C's birthday dinner, and sat next to me at the end of the table. We established that we both knew C from university. Which was weird, as I'd expect to at least recognise someone I spent three years in the same college as, but if we did ever meet neither of us remembered it.

Hey, he said after a while, you know who you sound like?
Who? I said, hoping he wasn't going to say Victoria Wood.
Victoria Wood! he said.

You're not the first person to say that, I said (hello Charlie!). But I don't think I do.

No, she doesn't, said someone across the table. It's just they're both Northern, and there is otherwise a complete lack of accent diversity in this room. Exactly, I said. I sound more like Victoria Wood than anyone else here, but that does not mean I sound like Victoria Wood.

No, you do! he said, and nudged me. And if you were blonde, you'd look a bit like her as well.
*Thanks*, I said, in my best facetious voice. Don't get me wrong, I like Victoria Wood a lot, and I happen to think she's looking pretty good these days. But she is 53.

Well, he went on hurriedly, except she's fat and you're not.

Can we stop this conversation? I said.

I would have said this definitely wasn't flirting except later on he did touch me on the leg.



Anonymous Charlie said...

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's flirting. Misjudged compliment? Check. Obliviousness to rebuff? Check. Leg touch? Check.

If it didn't work, you're presumably one of these lesbians I keep hearing about on Channel 4.

7:07 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

Get yer coat, luv, you've pulled.

8:41 am  
Anonymous jonathan said...

I think I remmember reading somewhere how the real Victoria Wood finds herself constantly being mistaken for Dawn French. Or perhaps it was the other way around. Anyway I don't think you look like either of them. If we were at a dinner party and I was intent on flirting with you by the time-honoured method of evoking leading lights of the 1980 alternative comedy scene, then the young Jennifer Saunders would be my instrument of choice. Mind you I never did really get the hang of flirting...

3:37 pm  
Blogger Jo said...

She did well at the Baftas though, didn't she? I almost felt proud.

4:34 pm  

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