Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Brace yourself, Sheila!

This is the punchline to a bad joke I can't remember. But for a really bad joke, how about this. A woman walks into the dentist for an update on something complicated she needs to get done to avoid grinding her teeth away. Last she heard it was something to do with putting white fillings behind her incisors and grinding down a bit of one of her back teeth. The dentist has a cast of her teeth on some dental caliper type things and is moving them around and shaking his head mournfully.

There's no room in here, I think we might need to look at orthodontics, he said. What! I said. You mean, like, braces? BUT I'M THIRTY SIX. I had braces when I was FIFTEEN. That's what you do when you're FIFTEEN. You don't do it again when you're THIRTY SIX. What are you TALKING ABOUT.

Well, he said, they pulled your teeth in too far. We need to move them out again.

On the bright side, said colleague K, you'll lose loads of weight through only being able to eat soup for six months.

Seven-to-nine months actually.

The alternative is a night guard. Forever. Gross. Or grind them away and crown them and grind them away again. Great.

So watch this space. I may shortly be modelling the latest in train tracks.



Blogger Spine said...

...and pink hair. and purple clothes.

12:27 pm  
Blogger Jo said...

I always planned to be an elegant woman with scarves and perfume and diaphanous dresses. But it's just not happening for me.

12:40 pm  
Anonymous Kate said...

Don't know which I'd recommend - D has just got a mouth guard and I know I'm not in luck when he puts it in before he gets into bed!!

11:36 am  
Anonymous Charlie said...

I can see how this doesn't help but a female friend in her late 30s had braces fitted a couple of months ago. I paraphrase but I would describe her reaction as self-conscious and miserable. THe school car park is a killer apparently, which is at least one arena you don't have to brave.

5:27 pm  
Blogger Jo said...

Ah, well you see I'm only in my *mid* 30s so I'm sure I'll be fine. *gloom*

9:29 pm  

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