The Christmas letter

There's a glorious article in the Guardian today about those round robin letters that some people see fit to send to everyone they know at Christmas. I thought it was just me that hated them, but it seems I am not alone in my curmudgeonliness.

When I was little we used to get them from my cousin G in Canada. My parents may well get them still, for all I know. Cousin G is ginger and bearded. His wife is Chinese. Their kids look extremely weird. The letters accompanying the photographic evidence of this were typed with carbon paper on a curly-script typewriter. Even at a tender age this made me stick my fingers down my throat. Why am I supposed to care?, I would ask my mother. I hope you don't write all this shit about me and send it around the world in quadruplicate.

I think only people with children can do them properly. M and I have discussed doing one ourselves, along the lines of 'Another year sitting around binge drinking and lying in bed recovering. And here's a picture of us looking much the same as ever.' It doesn't work really, does it. (Though I guess we could send round mp3s of 1969 by the Stooges: "Another year for me and you, another year with nothing to do". Damn, I think that's quite a good idea.)

But then the real thing doesn't work really either. Somehow getting a letter that everyone and their uncle is getting is worse than getting no letter at all. You know it's only got the achievements in it, nobody tells you about their antidepressant consumption or their inner pain.

Eight years ago I remember M looking tiny, writing Christmas cards on his own for the first time after he left his wife. I am sure his sad little individual 'C and I have split up, um, happy christmas' scribbles were a better way of doing this than any in-depth photocopied missive (with photo of the divorce papers?) could have been. Some stuff you have to get one to one. Only the Queen's allowed a Christmas message. We care that people want to tell us stuff, not that stuff has happened. Us, not everyone. No?

joella