Why I am going on holiday with my parents

1. Because I've still got parents but won't have forever and I've been thinking about this quite a lot recently
2. Because they asked me last year and I said no but maybe next year and now it's next year and I try not to say things that I don't mean
3. Because I wasn't home for Christmas last year or the year before or the year before that and won't be this year either
4. Because they're paying.

Actually, no 4 makes me sound a lot more callous than I actually am -- I was going to do it before they were paying. I WAS!

Don't for a second get the impression though that I don't like my parents, or that I don't like spending time with them, as neither is the case. My parents are great people, I love them very much, I get on very well with them, and I see them every couple of months -- not bad going considering we live over 200 miles apart.

But they don't travel well, or maybe more accurately, as I don't know unless I'm there, we don't travel well together. The last time we left the country together we came back sitting at opposite ends of the plane and pretending not to know each other. Admittedly we had all been to my grandmother's funeral, but still. Add to that that the family dachshund had been self harming because we left him in kennels, and you really start to get the harmonious picture.

So it was with some trepidation that I agreed. As did my sister, but she went last year, had a good time and is on the whole about seventeen times more easy going than I am.

Then all we had to do was find a holiday. They wanted to go to Italy, I wanted to go to Cuba, so we had to manage holiday expectations right from the start. We settled on Spain, because I wanted to practise my Spanish, but the places they shortlisted were miles from the sea. They wanted somewhere quiet. I found somewhere which seemed quiet but had plenty to do, but it wasn't posh enough. Dad has to have a four star hotel.

Spain was looking out, at least on my and my sister's budgets (this was before they were paying). We moved on to Greece, but I have bad memories of Greece. Then Tunisia, but Dad's not sure because they're Arabs and he's Jewish. Hey, there's Croatia these days, but we're not at all sure about the food (we're all vegetarian).

Somebody mentioned Israel, but I vetoed that, and then Egypt, nope. What about Florida? No, Mum doesn't want to fly for more than four hours. The Gambia? Don't be ridiculous.It was looking like Centerparcs (only not in Holland, you understand).

Then, just after they had decided to pay so that we wouldn't end up staying in a tent on the lawn of their hotel, my sister found a brochure for Turkey. It's affordable, the weather's great, we're near a beautiful beach, the flight's the right length, all that mezze is great for veggies, and the hotel looks amazing. We're off!

Of course, Turkey does share a border with Iraq, but I decided not to mention that. They tell me it will all be over by May anyway.

joella