Sunday, March 22, 2009

Reflections on power, cheese, and deserts

Last week at work, a decision I have been pushing for for nearly a year finally got made, and got made in the direction I'd been pushing for. I was momentarily jubilant, then I went for a wee and when I came back the person who had been pushing just as hard in the other direction was a bit tearful. And I know, if it had gone the other way, which it so easily could have, so very nearly did, then the tears would have been mine. I had shed some only the night before. Yes, I thought it was that important. And so did she.

I wonder if my currency is higher, or things are moving faster, because of what happened in the Hot Place. Crises make careers, everyone knows that, even if you happened to be there by accident. For years I have had nothing but carrots, now, briefly, there is a small stick, and I get to wave it. My report about learning points has been read by high-ups and pissed a couple of them off, and I'm not used to that either. I am used to toiling in the detail round the edges of the main story, taken seriously by a few people (and I love you all) and reassured that my stuff is of course *important* but not, you know, important enough to do anything *about*. So I don't bother pulling my punches, because I'm not usually hitting anyone who's noticing.

It might be an interesting week.

Meanwhile, my personal equilibrium swings like a pendulum do. Well, maybe more like Newton's cradle do, as I think it's slowly coming back to rest somewhere manageable. Sunday evenings are warm times chez joella, as M and I both love to listen to Freakzone, which seems to occupy the interesting part of the intersection of our respective musical tastes. Freakzone listening happens in the kitchen, where one of us will tidy up while the other cooks dinner.

But tonight we both wanted to cook. I made lentil soup, which I have been making for ten years, can make with my eyes closed, and relies on a failsafe combination of good olive oil, cheap red wine and bay leaves. We didn't have any bread, so M baked cheese scones to go with it. I have never had a home made cheese scone before. What have I been doing with my life?

Towards the end of the programme, Freakzone played us Water is Life. Immediately, over wine, cheese and lentils, we hatched a plan to visit next year's Festival Au Desert. And this just two weeks after I swore never to leave the country again.

So I guess hope springs eternal. And amen to that.


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Anonymous Kate said...

Now I'm wanting to know who you made cry. What a nosey person I am!! Good for you though (not making someone cry) but getting things read in places where it means things happen.

10:19 pm  
Blogger Jo said...

Kate, I will send you a Facebook message... and it wasn't *quite* like that! I did feel awful about it but it's all cool now I hope. This is the trouble with caring about stuff. :-)

9:12 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah, the restorative powers of cheese scones and lentil soup. Glad to hear you're coming out of the other side of whatever-it-was Joella, though I think there is a lot in your intuiition that such episodes (for want of a better word) are a necessary part of caring so much about things which need caring about...


10:28 pm  

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