Thursday, July 03, 2008

Teething problems

Sight is the only one of my facial senses that is currently working properly. As a result I am still utterly miserable and have nothing of interest to say, except that I went to the dentist (which is an interesting experience when you can't breathe through your nose) to get my canines built up. This was one of the alternatives offered to having braces -- the idea is that if my canines are bigger and fatter they deflect the grinding that my inner fury otherwise inflicts on my increasingly fragile incisors.

I was impressed with the results -- basically, this is what celebrities get done, though for aesthetic rather than existential reasons. It's like Botox for teeth. But the left one did not even survive two days: there was an ominous crack upon its first encounter with a packet of Walkers smoky bacon, and half of my celebrity tooth fell out.

I haven't even got the bill yet. Arse.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Existential dentistry, I must say I very much like the sound of that.. perhaps Gordon Brown could do worse than making this service available via the National Health in a bid to revive his flagging fortunes....

12:10 am  

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