Sunday, June 29, 2008

Farewell feminine mystique

I was lying in bed this afternoon, surfing the web for mucus management strategies. I tried a bottle of Otrivine that I found in the bathroom cabinet, but it tastes (and burns) a bit like speed when it hits the back of your nose, and that can't be good for anyone. I tried a little acupressure: nada. Then I came across nasal irrigation. I am a fan, nay evangelist, of at least one other kind of irrigation, and I wondered, frankly, why it hadn't occurred to me before.

I don't have a neti pot, which seems to be the accessory of choice for those who wish to wash their noses out. The other suggested approach involved a 10 ml syringe "without needle" (like, duh). None of those either. I put the bath on, and then headed downstairs in search of inspiration.

About half an hour later, M walked into the bathroom and yelped. I hadn't warned him that I would be leaning naked over the sink with a turkey baster up one nostril.

I made a terrible mess (I figured I would, that's why I didn't have any clothes on): I don't think anyone needs the details -- M is still recovering -- but let's just say I did not come across nearly as elegant as the nice lady who does the neti pot demo on YouTube. But it did clear my nose, kind of. I briefly had dual nostril function, and have had it sporadically since.

But I can't smell a damn thing - I made sardine and chilli pasta for dinner, and got not the tiniest hint of fishiness. I'm beginning to wonder if normal nasal service will ever be restored. Is this what it's like having hay fever? Shit, have I got late-onset hay fever?

Still, it's meant I have been able to spend the weekend on the sofa watching Glasto entirely without guilt. I got ninety nine problems but the mud ain't one.

joella

5 Comments:

Blogger Andy said...

OMG. Way too much info in this post. And that video is hysterical. I wanna go.

9:42 pm  
Blogger Jo said...

I've ordered one off eBay, so... (though thinking about it they probably aren't for sharing!). I bet it takes years to perfect that technique.

10:04 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

So he didn't say "How are you going to tempt me into abject submission if you behave like that?"

Good man.

Becoming a neti adept is obviously like becoming a kung fu grandmaster who doesn't leave footprints on rice paper. Must be able to wear smart jumper and not get a drop of water or snot on it. In fact, deduct points for displaying any expression or feeling at all.

Hope the taste (and the femine mystique) come back soon.

8:55 am  
Blogger Jo said...

Wow, impressive recall! That would of course have been the *perfect* reaction.

7:54 pm  
Blogger Ben said...

Okay, I cheated and looked it up in the archives ...

8:46 am  

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