Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Juxtaposition of power holding styles

Clearly I can't be too blunt about this, as I am not Call Centre Confidential, but let's just say my current manager's style is neither consensus-focused nor, for me at any rate, empowering. She's the boss, and you don't get to forget it. We work very differently, and I'm struggling with it... particularly today, her first day back from hols, when I got a round bollocking for making a decision while she was away that she didn't think I should have made.

It's exhausting and it's not a little scary, and as I left for plumbing I wiped a couple of tears away. I had to get the bus to Blackbird Leys, as last night the brake cable on my bike snapped and I don't know how to fix these things, so all in all I walked up the drive to college feeling pretty bloody miserable.

I was a bit early, and as I turned the corner to the plumbing and gas block, there was D the teacher sitting on the steps smoking Lambert & Butlers with a couple of my fellow students. There was a time when the small talk was the hardest part of the class, but as I approached, D and R moved away from each other to create a space in between them on the step, and D slapped the empty space and said 'you look colourful today!'

Is that a compliment? I said as I sat down. Yeah, he said. Thanks! I said. Where's the bike? he said. Bust, I said. Want a lift home later? he said.

I had to wipe a few more tears away, but nobody saw.

joella

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