Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Addicted to candour

After nine months working for someone who's either socially dysfunctional, misanthropic or just very, very rude, I am finding it easier to say what I feel when I am affected by her behaviour. The more I do it, the easier it is. I say it, I don't get struck down in flames. There's always payback, but the worst that can happen can't be worse than what already *is* happening, so hey, bring it on.

Many would say that I have never avoided confrontation, and in fact many have, but this always takes me by surprise: I have a reputation for frankness, but in fact I go to great lengths to present a diplomatic impression to the world.

So what I can surmise from this is... when I *do* take the gloves off, maybe I really can be a force to be reckoned with. And maybe I should do more of it. M is currently engaged in intimidating last chance saloon financial debate with his scary ex. She has told the offspring (when he explicitly asked her not to), which is a v below the belt move. I have always maintained radio silence with them on financials, and done my absolute level best to be friendly, likable and disassociated from all that nasty business. In fact, I clearly have an interest, and have been subliminally furious about the whole thing (details being inappropriate to share but suffice to say Homer Simpson could have got a better divorce settlement than M) for the last eight years. Now might be the time to disabuse the lot of them. I might come out of it single and stepchildless, but for fuck's sake, what are principles *for*?

Cackle. When I am an old woman I shall wear purple. If I bloody well feel like it.

joella

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well your blog has a violet kind of background, Joella, which is a start, and should give people an idea of your inclinations so they don't get too much of a shock when you do start to wear purple, and all that goes with it. I do love that poem, it makes me look forward to being an old woman, until I remember that that is never in fact going to happen...

(and I know what you mean about getting a reputation for forthrightness despite thinking you are going to extents to be painstakingly diplomatic, to the extent of occasionally berating yourself for being downright mealy-mouthed). The exact same happens to me).

Jo said...

Quite coincidentally, I am wearing purple today. In fact, a friend of mine borrowed this top and my red hat to wear to a party she went to dressed as that very poem. So I'm clearly practically there already...