On the sunny side, surely nobody could be recovering from a near fatal road accident faster than C. The second time I went to see him he was sitting next to his bed in an NHS armchair with an NHS Zimmerframe wearing orange NHS pyjamas. It was the loveliest possible sight. He is still bruised and swollen and fractured and a bit deaf, but you wouldn't believe the difference.
When we went in today bearing food and DVDs he wasn't even by his bed - he had taken himself off to the toilet. It's amazing. He's amazing, the hospital is amazing, the human body is amazing. I know it's going to be a long road, but he's already wearing dark blue instead of orange (C is a monochrome kind of guy) and wondering how long it will be before he can play the sax again. For a man with a ruptured diaphragm, this is fantastic progress.
On the subconscious self-destruction side, I have accidentally dyed my hair pink. I clash with my own eyes, not to mention half my wardrobe. It came about as I have decided that imminent unemployment is preferable to fear, loathing and Temazepam (prescribed last week by my GP and quite interesting but not a great long term option), so I figured I should start economising. I could clearly spend less on my hair, but there must be a way of doing it myself which doesn't involve looking like a 1980s goth-hippie freak.
'Own that hair!' said M. I will try. And like a scar, it will fade.
joella
4 comments:
Ditto!
P.S. My home dye recommendations are L'Oreal Preference, Excellence and Recital. And anything that says it gives "superior grey coverage" will give you much better colour, grey or no grey.
I have witnessed the hair. It looks distinctly ... distinct.
I used to think Anxiety was better than Depression, and then changed my mind when I almost went to hospital for the second time. Tamazepan (isn't that Valium) needs to be steered well clear of. The problem with both Anxiety and Depression is that they are linked - sometimes to the extent of being impossible to tell apart. But when you're highly stressed, entering an anxious state and feel full of energy, the brain thinks it's a lot better than it is. When the activity has subsided, all you want to do is sleep properly, but there's many, many better ways to induce sleep than these old drugs (I recommend long term sick leave or a long holiday)
The breast cancer has beaten my previous daliance with health issues into the sidelines; but I speak from experience having what is commonly known as a 'nervous breakdown' five years ago. If only I hadn't:
tried marujana and smoked ten tons of it
banged my head
got stressed at work
taken a load of valium on a long bus journey
taken Larium Anti-malaria tablets
all over a 24 hour period
etc etc. But then if you can't enjoy life - what the hell is left? Not supposed to be eating eggs at the moment.
But seriously, I can't recommend taking time off and having a nice relaxing time, enough. When you start to feel relaxed (aka bored), then learn how to meditate. You'll never be bored again - it's something you can do anytime, anyplace, anywhere and hasn't got the side effects of Martini (although that is also a favourite of mine)
If you can sit still staring at one spot saying the word Calm on your out breath for more than 5 minutes 5 times a day then you've cracked it.
Yes, I would like to learn to meditate... I will give it a try! I'm not a big drug head but I do tend to hit the bottle, so sobriety and sleeping tablets is another way through a lousy time. But I hear what you say about time off...
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