Times when it would be useful not to be British

Someone I know from work, not very well but I know her, heard I was going to India. She sent me an email yesterday saying she was too, whereabouts was I going, was it a romantic trip or could we maybe meet up somewhere?

I said it was an organised group thing with a few days either end, sent her the link to the details, said it would be great to meet up if our paths crossed. Went home.

Last night I went for dinner with two people I know much better from work, and she was there too. Looks like a great trip, she said, and there's one place left -- how would I feel if she booked it?

Absolutely fine, I said, what fun. She left a bit later and I proceeded to drink a whole bottle of wine and get myself into a right old pickle.

Of course I was not absolutely fine. It's been a hell of a year, M and I need a bit of space, we want to get as far away from everything to do with home and work as possible.

But why the hell couldn't I say that? She asked, why didn't I tell her?

I wrote her an email and went to bed, where I spent most of the night staring at the ceiling and cursing my cowardice. Don't worry, said M. She will understand, and if she went home and booked it straight away, well, we'll cope...

Came in with a hangover and feeling a bit weird.

She did understand, so he was right (and I would have understood, so there's no reason to think someone else wouldn't), but I do get so worried about these things. Must be braver next time.

joella