Harinder Veriah

I have just read the most incredible article in today's Guardian. It's by Martin Jacques, who I remember more for editing Marxism Today than for anything else, but it's not about that. It's about Harinder Veriah, the woman he fell in love with in 1993, the time they spent together and how she died in 2000. It's about love and loving someone and it's about the realities of racism in this world and how little you know about this if you're white, even if you think you do. It's an amazing piece of writing, and it made me ache inside.

joella

Fair Pay for the Fire Service!

My lovely friend and websites-for-a-better-world comrade John has just pointed me in the direction of www.fp4f.com. It's all about the demo in London on 7 December -- details, how to get there, spread the word etc. He says (and I couldn't say it better myself):

"The firefighters' demo was announced yesterday afternoon, and we had to design, and build the website in 24hrs, including buying in a domain name, email listserv & some widgets. A campaign site to build a network of demo participants and transport organisers - quite ambitious as it only has 7 days to make good!

Quite exhausted now, so would be very grateful if someone went to look at it... go on, please - it will make my weekend..."

joella

Drinking too much

I was pissed out of my head when I wrote that last one. And the one before. There's some real shit happening at the moment and it's difficult to work out what's a tellable story and what's it's just beyond the pale to write about in a public place, even preserving anonymity (not that many people are looking).

But I guess this is supposed to be about me me me, and I should have a go.

There are two situations making me angry. One is nothing to do with me directly. It involves the theory of polyamory. Viable lifestyle choice or a surefire way to fuck up all kinds of relationships? Evidence is pointing to the latter in my world at the moment. And in such a kind of predictable if tragic way.

I will stick to serial monogamy. Having said that, polyamorists do have some interesting ideas about gender neutral pronouns.

The other is something that did involve me. I felt I played an active part in something pretty sordid just by being there. Well, not even physically there, on another PC somewhere else in the world. I didn't start it, I didn't want it, I didn't encourage it.

And yet I still felt like a piece of shit afterwards. And my bestest friend S is feeling something similar. How can this happen? Why do we get put in a place where we feel angry and guilty at the same time? Why should women take responsibility for the behaviour of men?

joella

Oh, boys. Can't live with them, can't shoot them. Not in this country anyway. Now Andrew, he makes me angry, but he also takes me back to my roots. What's a girl to do? Keep the dialogue open, I guess,

joella

All the people we used to know
They're an illusion to me now
Some are mathematicians
Some are carpenters wives
Don't know how it all got started
I don't know what they do with their lives
But me, I'm still on the road
Headin' for another joint
We always did feel the same
We just saw it from a different point of view
Tangled up in blue.

can't say it any better than Bob.

joella

Well it all kicked off this evening. S receives an email to end all emails. Not a medium for use when angry (or drunk), but we all learn that one the hard way. Household pow-wow called me in from the garden and I ended up planting my Callicarpa in the dark with a head torch on. Not a sexy look.

Then, blimey, Enders! Whose is Laura's baby?? If it's Ian's I am going to be looking sidelong at Miles...

joella

Bugger. There I was trying to be sensible on a Monday, drink no vino, smoke no fags and get an early night. But then vile MSN Messenger tempted me... the new interface has a link to Zone games, where I found the evil CUBIS. You just can't play it without other vices to hand.

But now I am going to do the washing up. For a bit.

joella

Oh my head. Some of The Limitations were round last night, working up new songs for their gig. I was chez Ricardo, eating more curry and drinking fizz with J and my fine On the Line buddies.

Cath and I arrived back to a house full of mayhem... to which we added for an hour or so before Miles came down the stairs on his stomach and it was time to call it a night. This house was not designed to sleep seven but hey, we deserved a party after a great bit of shed demolition.

New one arrives next week, can't wait, how sad am I?

joella

Blimey, I'm full. Why? Well I have just been out for a fantastic curry chez Aziz on Cowley Road -- surely the best Indian/Bangladeshi restaurant in Oxford, which must make it one of the best in the country, since there is v stiff competition round here.

Also Aziz himself is a very charming man. He has known Miles (Mr D) for getting on 15 years, many of which were spent in their previous Botley-based lives. Hello Mr D he said the first time, without batting an eyelid, as if their joint transplantations from West to East Oxford were nothing remarkable.

And maybe they aren't. But tonight new ground was broken, as Miles asked Aziz along to his gig at the Zodiac on 7 December, and Aziz said he would come. 15 years later they may actually get to know each other a bit. Ain't life sweet sometimes.

joella

Still baffled by trying to publish by FTP. But in the meantime, thoughts for the day. If you're going to a pub quiz, brush up on your Greek gods and your birthstones.

And if you want your legs waxed and you live in Oxford, visit the lovely Elaine. I did her site from an out of date leaflet, so check prices first...

joella

Hmmm. Waiting for this to appear on my site rather than horrible blog site. Am web professional and yet find this difficult. How will my mother cope? Maybe it will be fixed tomorrow... and the sun will come out. But one hour later still no joy. Arse.

Big up to Scott, er, Justin Ruffles (read his blog) for pointing me in this direction. Will I be arsed or won't I? Nobody will care, at least not for a while.

Sylv is in the other room, watching Mulholland Drive. I know a place where she can find out what really happens...

joella